EMMA'S NOTES #19
Feedback on feedback
|Emma Stoks||Jul 22|
🙋🏼♀️ Dearest you,
Feedback is always valuable.
It's just often not worthwhile in the way you might expect.
Brené Brown popularized this idea that you should only take feedback from people who are in the arena getting their butt kicked too. I think that's a very valid idea. It's a good habit to limit the time you listen to the advice of people who don't have their skin in the game.
But even among the people that do have their ass on the line on a regular basis too, feedback is usually not about you.
Why? Because we all should get a gold medal for how good we are at projecting our hopes, wants, needs, fears, and emotions on the people around us. Everything somebody says about you often says more about them than it does about you.
Precisely because of that feedback is always valuable information. You just have to remember that often you'll learn more about the other than you'll learn about your own behavior.
Does this give you a free pass to not give a shit about everybody around you? Well if you want it to — feel free to take that easy route.
I think, however, this is the one reason to always ask feedback from more than one person. And while you're at it. Ask more than 10 people too. Once you have enough input, you'll gain the ability to see through the projections and find your learnings.
Have a great week,
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