I hate goals.

🙋🏼‍♀️ Dearest you,

I realized I hate goals.

For the past three months, I’ve had an accountability partner.

One week into a global pandemic I realized I needed some guidance. Time has this sneaky way of moving faster if you don’t pay attention and I needed a weekly reminder to pay attention.

Inspired by a book called Grip I found a great partner and we started playing by the following rules:

  1. We scheduled a weekly call.

  2. In that call, we asked each other the same questions each week.

  3. Each of us had to decide for themselves what those questions were.

  4. We took notes of the others’ answers.

Easy, right?

Well, the meetings are. The process of talking about the way you work and lead your life every week turned out to be harder than I anticipated. Beforehand we agreed that this process was only going to worthwhile if we dove a little deeper than: ‘did you check off all your to-do’s?’

I discovered endless ways in which I self-sabotage. To name a few: expecting too much of myself, expecting too little, setting the bar too high, setting goals that don’t inspire me, striving for things I don’t even want, distracting myself from what I find truly important — do I need to continue?

After using Occam’s Razor on my personal leadership for a while, I concluded that I hate goals. If you’re not careful, goals tend to become the reason why you are not happy right now.

And I think that’s what most people really want: to be happy right now.

Whatever you need for that is a very personal and context-dependent answer. We each have our own metrics and those metrics will change over time.

So, out with the goals. And in with the question: what would really make me happy now?

Have a great week,

PS: I found a hack: no goals doesn’t mean you can’t have dreams 😉

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