EMMA'S NOTES #17

Are you a success or a failure?

🙋🏼‍♀️ Dearest you,

To be able to achieve anything, you’ll have to allow yourself at least two things:

To fail and to succeed.

If you're afraid of either success or failure, you'll simply freeze. Or maybe you'll move just enough not to fail, but not nearly enough to succeed.

A friend of mine just started a company. As we discussed the stress of trying to make something work, a weird and very human tendency struck me: we tend to talk about interim results as if they are a final verdict.

In bad instances, we see that verdict as a final evaluation of our character. In even worse cases, our failure or success serves as a testimony of our (un)worthiness.

It's a mistake, however, to talk about success and failure as end results. The ironic thing about human life is that we never know exactly when it'll end. And for that simple reason, it's always too early to draw final conclusions. Every result, whether you deem it a failure or a success is merely intermediate.

A while ago I made a list of things I want to stop doing. On the top of that list was the following in bold:

Stop having discussions with myself about whether I’m a succes or a failure.

I decided to just not engage in such self-loathing anymore. Simply because you will never get a final verdict on whether you are a success or a failure.

There are a few reasons for this:

  1. You’ll not live long enough to receive it.

  2. You are not the one to make that verdict. Each person you encounter in life will judge you uniquely. There probably isn’t one evaluation of who you are. There are thousands and thousands of those. Some of which are half-true, some not even remotely true. People will mix their perceptions with previous experiences that have nothing to do with you. Not because they are bad or stupid, but because they are human. Therefore, a good rule of thumb is to take everything less personal than you are inclined to do. Why? Because it's hardly ever as personal as you think it is.

Besides the fact that you will never get a final verdict, it's a total irrelevant metric. What's relevant is looking honestly at yourself and learn from intermediate results. That's all there is to do.

Have a great week,

FIND ME ONLINE: emmastoks.com

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